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Dating When You Have Social Anxiety
I was fourteen years old I heard the words that made me truly believe that social anxiety and undateable were synonymous. I happened to be sitting next to a boy I had a crush on. We got on well, we were in the same friendship group and most importantly he bought me chocolate once, so it was obviously meant to be.
“I wouldn’t date a shy girl. If she was being shy, I’d ask what you playing at?”
My heart sank. My social anxiety made me shy and timid. As much as I wanted to connect with people, I found it painful. Did this mean I was broken? I felt unloveable and hated myself for being me.
What made me especially self-conscious what that it was constantly pointed out. As a teenager, my first boyfriend took me to meet his friends and I was quiet the whole time. I didn’t know anyone, and nobody made the effort to initiate a conversation with me. I felt uncomfortable and unable to be myself. In hindsight, it’s not surprising that I didn’t talk much.
He later told me all his friends said I was boring because I was too shy. Then he dumped me because the word of his friends was law and he had no mind of his own. I was devastated. Not only had I been rejected by my boyfriend but I had also been rejected by his large group of…
