Maybe perfect parenting isn’t what children need. — I was the child of unloving parents. When the time came for me to have a child of my own, I promised myself I would be the parent I never had. I was so determined to break the cycle that I didn’t realize just how high the standards were I…

I didn’t want to believe that it could be true. — “Why do you feel you need counselling?” This was the question I had been dreading. How do you put into words how much pain you are in? And how do you express it in a way that someone else can understand when you don’t even fully understand these feelings yourself? …

I’ll never be the same again. — Ever since my teens, I’ve identified as left-wing. At first, it was a rebellious act of defiance against the town I lived in. Most people were at least right-leaning, even if they insisted they “didn’t care about politics.” I felt proud to be on the left, which I had idealized…

And no, it doesn’t make them bad mothers. — “You’ll feel a rush of love.” I’ll never forgive whoever came up with this lie. Sure, some women do feel that rush of love the first time their newborn is placed in their arms. But some women don’t. In fact, difficulties with bonding affect a third of mums in the…

I’m ashamed of my internalized misogyny. — I used to hate getting cat-called. I was underage and the men whistling and shouting were just that, men. They were adults. I was a teenager. I was very clearly a child. In the warmer weather, I would be careful not to wear anything too revealing as not to provoke…

Your suffering is valid even if it doesn’t inspire a work of art. — I’ve experienced periods of poor mental health for as long as I can remember. And in that time, I have never been able to use my pain to produce a masterpiece that changed the world. I was too busy barely functioning to be some kind of tortured genius. The notion…

I write to help survivors. But I also write to educate perpetrators. This is what happens when they don’t want to learn. — I began writing in 2020 about my experiences of being estranged from my parents as a result of a lifetime of abuse. It took an indescribable amount of courage not only to write about it but to admit to myself that what happened was wrong. I wrote a piece titled…

Motherhood takes a lot from a woman. But it doesn’t mean it has to be lost forever. — Of all the things I lost when becoming a mother, I didn’t expect to lose my sex drive. I was a first-time mum and had no idea of the difficulties that lay ahead. …

I was a caring daughter to the very end. And to the very end, I still wasn’t good enough. — It was a quiet December morning when I saw my mom for the last time. I was happy and content in my little flat with my little family. I was newly married and newly a parent, not to my own child but to my younger sister, Lucy. It was a…